If you are paying attention then you know that I am on holiday in order to recover from having some guts removed. Before this procedure, the nice man inserted a thoracic epidural and administered anesthesia. God bless anesthesiologists and pass the fentanyl. So I really didn't have any pain before, during or after surgery. Unfortunately, they generally require that you have your epidural drip removed before discharge from the hospital.
Since the aftermath of this procedure generally involves a considerable amount of pain, I have a prescription for a high powered painkiller called Lortab. This nifty little drug cocktail has been extremely effective at killing pain to such a degree that I am actually human. Unfortunately, this is not without its drawbacks. Like the uniform sleeping position monitoring police showing up in your bedroom. Or waking up in extreme fear that you will be permanently banned from society for failure to conform to a certain body shape (e.g. triangular).
The first night in hospital sans epidural and on opiates resulted in not much pain but not much sleep either. I wrote this off as excitement over pending liberation combined with being awakened every two hours for vital signs recording or medication delivery. However, on my first night home I didn't sleep for more than 45 minutes at a stretch. Excitement aside, the hallucinations were overwhelming. I recall at one point wondering when "they" would come and get the dog since she was most definitely not sleeping in a position that could be called a triangle by even the most liberal geometrist.
Seeing or hearing things that are not there;
confusion, fear, unusual thoughts or behavior;
feeling unusually anxious, excited, fearful, or tired.
Yeah, I guess that about sums it up. Ouch. Or Who Needs Sleep?
5 years ago
4 comments:
You're just trying to make me feel bad for making you laugh, aren't you?
Okay okay I'm sorry I made you laugh and hurt yourself! ;o)
LP-You're going to be sorry when the geometry police show up!
Ahh Lortab my old friend. It's not bad. After I had my guts rearranged (gastric bypass), they gave me percocet which was ok but watching tv was about as far as I could get with actual movement. This gave my friends much amusement. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE A HOME FENTYNAL DRIP???????? Isn't there something in the Magna Carta? Oh, the humanity! Imagine the profit margin on that. If only I had a few million bucks to lobby congress...
Signed: Super pleased you're not dead. :D (Someone's going to get tired of that joke quickly. Alas, it probably won't be me.)
HW-The rumours of my demise are greatly exaggerated. And actually, I prefer that folks are happy I am alive rather than wishing I were dead.
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