Your Freedom

I call it the Lay-Z-Boy Doctrine: People who have a comfortable recliner and a cooler full of ice cold beer DO NOT blow shit up. Simple.

This has been proven in spades in Great Britain. I can't remember the last time I heard "Belfast Bombing" on the evening news. It should be used with reckless abandon world wide. Please allow me to explain. People who have a comfortable recliner and a cooler full of ice cold beer DO NOT blow shit up.

First, invade a country and immediately open a beer refinery. Immediately following this are millions of happy brewery employees, beer distributors, bartenders, waitresses, etc. Guess what? All those people are earning money. What will they spend it on? Beer. Try to to keep up. Comfortable chairs. Now we have recliner manufacturing employees, truck drivers, sales clerks, cashiers. My chair is getting wet. Of course silly, you need a house. Framers, roofers, siders, electricians, plumbers, and whatever you call that guy who makes the perfect seams around the tub with silicone. Now that I am dry I need a computer and a home theater. Electronics manufacturing employees, programmers, actors, and the Geek Squad. How will I ever get to work and Best Buy? United Auto Workers, the AIAG and that guy who leans on his shovel and watches the other 2 guys fill potholes.

Let's face it: not one single person with a 40 hour per week job, Honda Civic, 3 bed/2 bath house, refrigerator, and a cold beer sitting in front of this week's episode of Heroes in HD will ever be arsed to get up and answer the goddammed telephone, let alone plot the destruction of his Scientologist nieghbors via WMD. Fuck goat herding and exporting freedom. We need to export luxury!